Dreams are Good Relief For Temporary Desires

Very recently I had the opportunity to experience the complete reversal of reality. I wanted to say that I was washed clean by this experience. But that doesn't capture it. It was more like a flash of photosynthetic wash-out. A pause button, a camera flash. And the reverberation was a falling away of protections. A period of seeing the world for what it is. Perhaps absent interpretation? A clarity, an ease of connection and communication. But slowly the effect has worn off. I feel the (pre) (sent)conceptions creeping back in. I don't feel blank, or light, or even numb. I simply ache. It is also what I imagine riding a tide would be like, rolling through the middle of a cresting wave the rise of sheer being, and then the falling from a height, encircled now and sliding down below, no longer having air to breathe. Coming up again for another ride, a different aspect of a constant motion. The tides never stop. A pulsing, a tumbling, throbbing and empty. I wondered, really. Like with Beth. It took me 13 years before I could write of her death. And Japhy too. I mean I wrote about Japhy, but never like I did here. So I thought, maybe, this flash too would ruminate. But it really doesn't compare to that, it is just much more directly embodied. A root place. A raining place. Reversing.