Perpetual Pathways

That is what I sometimes think this blog should be called. An endless journey through samsara with me, and me with you. So I thought I might not write for a bit. But then, I realized I wanted to write about River's birth (You have been forwarned, if birth stuff makes you queezy, read no further). Oh so excruciating and at times sincerely deep and meditative. The desire to clean, a last-mlnute effort. Then laying with Jah, and then. Well, several parts of this will be excluded for graphic content regarding body fluids. The water, finally, and floating, drifting, tumbling, air and under, serious concentration to make it through those contractions and the hot and cold. Dark with stars, and then a soft light. I am still here, he is still coming. She comes, she tells me it is time to get out of the water. I need to be more grounded. Of course, I was having my earth child Taurus. The bed I lay in right now, is the bed I labored in then. Finally he turns, open, and I can't I didn't think I could. Her eyes are like magic cat eyes "You're almost there" "How soon is almost? Hours?" "No, minutes" "I can't" "Yes you can" "you have to" And this is one of those moments I will always look back on as an example of gettin' it done. I was only doing part of the work, along with River, gravity, and something beyond and within all of that, it was hard, and we did it. Ahhhhh. Up, between my legs, lay down. Laughing. Everyone else is crying and I am so happy its over I can only laugh and sigh. Amazing. Making and having babies is really extraordinary. Jah thought I had died I think. He smelled blood, heard me scream and was afraid to get near me for days. His life hasn't been the same since, poor guy. Birth is like dying, but ending up living and giving life.