Becoming Kali

This is the image. I see wings. Sprouting out from the back. And there is a dichotomy. The wings could be white, and the dress drapes over, reveals light skin, hair falls down, a blue transluscent illumination. Then there is the other. The wings are large and black, the dress ripped and shining. Hair is in a frenzy, blood drips from the mouth, a sparkle in the eyes, a beaming smile reveals sharp teeth. Is this Kali? Maybe. She seems to represent what I mean. You see I have been hiding her. She is the one I try to negate, the one I run from, try to transcend. We know this goddess in white right? It is the one we are supposed to be. The woman, mother, giver of life and protector from death. I am to be pure and good, and never conflicted and angry. Certainly not destructive. Coy, and deceitful are things I try to suppress. Desire, manifestation, eroticism. They do not meet the expectation of my constructed self. I should smile, love, open my arms and be protected via my virtue. I am done with this now. This "dark side" is ready to come. I have had enough with purity and pleasing. I am embracing Kali. I hold the dagger in my hand. The wings now are developing. We are nearly ready to take flight.