And you know

you're in trouble when your five year old asks you if the polar bears are going to live and you tell him, "no, they are going to die and no one is doing much about it, but that is an existential crisis for you. What you really need to worry about is how it is going to be too hot to go outside." And you know you're lucky when the next day he says "I figured it out Mommy--they will all swim to Antartica" and he then informs you that is a real theory. You know you're in trouble when after soccer you wrestle him to the ground to pull a Capris Sun out of his hands as all the parents stare in horror at your over the top attitude to sugar. And you know you are lucky when he looks you in the eye and says "why?" and you say "High-fructose corn-syrup" and he says "o.k." quite easily. You know you're in trouble when you are driving so fast to the teach-in you are teaching that starts in 3 minutes and your are on your cell phone and the car in front of you pulls into your lane and you swerve to miss it and hit a pole. And you know you're lucky when they say sorry and no one is hurt and you say "well, as long as your fine and we're fine gotta go" and head off to your teach-in --just 3 minutes late. You know your in trouble when you can't get the top groups to get it and you know your lucky when the Idaho Astronomical Society "got it" without being asked. You know you're in trouble when you wake up sad too early in the morning and can't sleep because of it and you know you're lucky when you find an email in your inbox from your sister asking you to lunch, just in time to help you not feel sad, and help you start to make a good day. You know you're in trouble when dinner is soba noodles, potatoes and ketchup, and you know you're lucky when strawberries and peaches are snacked on while the pasta and potatoes cook. You know you're in trouble when you are so mad that the bathwater is thrown purposely out of the tub that you shout "there will be no stories tonight!" And you know you're lucky when you actually do read a story in Spanish and English. You know you're in trouble when you are counting to 120 and thinking fall asleep...now...fall asleep...now. You know you are lucky when you bury your face into their sleeping bodies and hear the sound of restful breath. You know you're in trouble when you can't quit thinking about the weight of the world and you know you are lucky when you remember who it is you are worried about the world for.