Mommying is hard for me. I love it, I am a natural at many aspects of it. But I am also unfulfilled by it. I know, that is considered entirely unacceptable. But its true. I like to work, and I like to be with my children--I wouldn't want to have one without the other. Granted--I sometimes long for my stretchy comfy mama clothes and days of play and sunshine. But I need both aspects now.
Tonight I had an interesting time putting the boys down. Canyon was rambunctious in the tub and threw a fit when I got him out. So I just let him throw a fit. Then he stopped, played under the covers with his big bro and we read books. They tried to sleep together, but C couldn't stop talking, so he moved down...hummmmmed himself to sleep, all the while chattering to baby doll. Sweet boys.
Little bones growing bigger. Still carrying a baby on my hip. A baby who is turning into long-limbs and complex illiterations. I am so tired I look at them through blurry eyes and feel myself zone away. No focus, this is fun, lets play.
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